There's Never Been a Better Time to Be a Man in America

The average man might be struggling, but for the man who has it together, the opportunities are incredible.

Two things can be true at the same time:

1. Men in general are underperforming in society relative to women, and have a large numbers of struggles in education, employment, with finding purpose in life, substance abuse, etc.

2. It’s never been a better time to be a man who has his act together.

So much of the discussion of men today talks about their problems. The problems they have, as with Richard Reeves book Of Boys and Men. Or the problems they cause, as with the endless complaints about “toxic masculinity.”

But you shouldn’t just look at the world through the lens of averages, but through the lens of yourself.

What opportunities and challenges does this world provide you personally?

The truth is, for a man who has it together, there’s a ton of opportunity out there. In many ways, it’s a golden age.

Just consider the availability of knowledge. Think about all of the facts and insights that just I myself have provided in this newsletter. The information I’ve posted on attraction, on how relative attractiveness shifts as we age, and on the dynamics of online dating is knowledge people of my generation never had access to. We had no choice but to listen to official messages that sent out a lot of false information, including the equivalent of claiming that women are attracted to servant leaders (hint: not true).

Or think about the vast amount of information available about health and fitness. Yet, there’s a ton of conflicting info, and plenty of “misinformation and disinformation.” You really do have to “do the research.” But at least there’s actual availability of information, something you didn’t have back when the USDA’s food pyramid was telling you to load up on carbs.

Then there’s the products we can get, such as for actually eating healthy. When I grew up, we had delicious vegetables from our garden, but for the most part, everybody was forced to eat mass market, highly processed food because that was all that was available. The 1970s and 80s were a low point for consumption amenities. Today, farmers markets are everywhere. They are all sorts of options for buying fresh, healthy, ethically sourced food. Yes, it’s often expensive. But it’s available. When I was a kid, you couldn’t get a lot of this stuff no matter how much money you had.

Want to start a business? The barriers are lower than ever. Prior to the Internet, I would never have been able to get my message out unless a miracle occurred and some newspaper hired me as a columnist. Until five to ten years ago, making a living from online writing was essentially impossible. It’s still very difficult - and I strongly discourage people from entering the creator economy world - but at least it’s possible, with easy to use tools like Substack or Patreon.

Tech startups used to have to raise millions of dollars to buy Sparc servers and Oracle database licenses. There are still some fields that require large amounts of capital, but today most of what you need is available on the cloud for next to nothing. Many businesses require next to no capital to start.

It’s similar with “sweaty startups” like home services. Every time I call somebody out to my house, they’ve got apps for scheduling, billing, payments, etc. It’s all out there for you. And a lot of these guys are making a killing because demand is so high and the labor supply so tight.

And if you want to do that repair on your house or apartment yourself? Just go to Youtube and get a video showing you exactly what you need and how it’s done. The internet lets you source any obscure part you might need for your dishwasher or whatever.

I was someone who never learned anything about how to do even the most basic home improvement task. But with the Internet, I’ve been able to start taking on projects that I never would have dreamed possible.

In terms of dating and marriage, we know women are frustrated at the shortage of men with college degrees and have other associated complaints. If you have your act together as a man, then you are a hot commodity, certainly for the kind of woman that you likely aspire to marry.

Put it all together, and the opportunities have arguably never been greater than they are right now for men with above average intelligence who have their act together. Look at what people like, say, Palmer Luckey have been able to accomplish at a young age. Even for those without their elite talent, the ceiling is a lot higher than you might think.

Most of you men reading my newsletter - and according to my reader survey, 90% of you are men - are college educated. You probably have a lot going on in your life. You’re probably Christian and are trying to live a moral life, avoid porn, etc. If you are reading Substack newsletters, that right there probably shows you are in the top 10% of men in terms of outlook..

Even if you are out of shape, not where you want to be professionally, don’t own a house, struggle to quit bad habits, just got divorced, etc., you’ve still got opportunities to improve.

Within one year, you can make a major transformation for the better in your life. Within five years, you can be in a place you never thought possible.

Some of you do have serious problems that hurt you. Maybe you have a disability. Maybe you have a criminal record. There are a lot of men in our society with real problems, and who are in places where they can’t just pull themselves up by their proverbial bootstraps.

I know at least some of my readers are going through serious stuff. I’ve talked to some of you about it. For you guys, I don’t want to beat you up. I’m not claiming you can turn it around quickly, or that there’s an obvious path forward. No shaming from me here. I’m just pulling for you guys.

But for many of us, we can spend so much time focusing on the problems of men in society, or complaining about the latest attack on toxic masculinity in the media, that we forget how good our own opportunities are.

Just because there’s so much bad in the world doesn’t mean you can’t personally succeed. And the more that you succeed, the more you are able to do to help other people and be a positive influence in society. Success is a great thing - if it doesn’t turn you into a selfish jerk.

The key is: let’s focus on how we are going to win. And then when we do, let’s pay it forward to others.

Cover image credit: Stephen McCarthy, CC BY 2.0