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Bill Smith's avatar

A tendency in human nature: people want what they cannot have (reverse psychology). I speculate that the male writer may have acted too interested too soon, causing the lady to not find him attractive enough. Had he perhaps kept her a little more at arm's length, and made her work harder for his attention, she might have yearned more for him (regardless of her friends).

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Thoughts on Old Buildings's avatar

Unpopular opinion, but I take the view that playing games like this is a bad idea.

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Bill Smith's avatar

I agree that playing games is not good, but unfortunately, restraining your enthusiasm is sometimes necessary to gain respect. It's just a fact of life. Throwing yourself at someone with more enthusiasm than the other currently feels is often a turnoff. I learned this the hard way as a nerdy engineer, during 10 years of seeking a wife, that the ladies I acted too interested in, lost interest in me. Eventually, after meeting many, many ladies, God brought the right match into my life, and she proposed to me on our third date. I was *shocked*, and said, whoa, slow down, we barely know each other. After 5 months, she was crying one evening. Why? "You won't marry me! (sob)". I sighed, yes I guess it's the right time finally, and I proposed. We've been happily married 37 years. But I had to learn a little "street smarts" about not throwing myself at people, like I had in my earlier years.

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Gordon R. Vaughan's avatar

I would agree that it's not a matter necessarily of playing games. As an enthusiastic sort of person (and an engineer) myself, I had to learn to not display too much of that too soon, else salesmen and other folks would try to rip me off. It's a common misperception to think that because someone appreciates the positives, they're blind to the negatives.

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