82 Comments
User's avatar
⭠ Return to thread
Mr Black Fox's avatar

I’d happily start a matchmaking service if Americans were open to receiving help. Most people in large American cities do NOT want and do NOT offer help.

“You’re on your own, kid” is the governing ethos.

Expand full comment
Bill Smith's avatar

It can be a little like looking for a job. Network, network, network. Talk to your friends--who's hiring, or who knows a nice, single lady? Ideally, getting a job referral or getting fixed up with someone by a mutual friend can be the best way. Alternatively, looking at classified ads or dating apps is a numbers game. Looking at lots of openings or meeting many people, most of them are not good matches, but eventually (especially if you keep a positive attitude and make it fun), you may find a great-match job or relationship.

Expand full comment
Mr Black Fox's avatar

I don’t agree because at least with a job there’s at least clear alignment on who is a good candidate. Hiring can be color-blind and merit-based. Dating is neither color-blind nor merit-based.

Expand full comment
Bill Smith's avatar

Granted, job-seeking is not perfectly analogous to mate-seeking. There are some similarities. In both, if one can relax and learn to enjoy the process, it takes a lot of the pressure off, and improves the odds of success.

Expand full comment
T Littlejohn's avatar

I have tried to 'help' some Christian single ladies but they are pretty picky and not open to changing themselves so it really didn't work. It's hard to know what would actually be helpful to people. To some extent I think has to be an in-person, numbers game. I worry for my kids, nephew, nieces. But my husband says they'll be fine. Stop worrying. LOL

Marriage is hard but good and demographics is destiny -so I really pray we, the church can figure out a better way of helping people.

Expand full comment
Cosmic Treason's avatar

Best thing I can offer as advice from a Millennial man is do not let your girls go to college or move out from home. If you can keep them from working a 9-5 even better. There are so many other things she could do that can generate income or educate her mind and none of them require the standard model that has been pushed on us.

Expand full comment
Mr Black Fox's avatar

Thank you! This explains my experience of ‘helping’ people with social introductions and then running into the reality that many Christian singles are not open to changing their romance and marriage expectations to fit reality.

Expand full comment