I'm a little curious about the interplay between churches not doing enough to help men succeed and the concerns expressed in this podcast - they seem mutually exclusive? If the church not doing enough is at least partly to blame for the woes of men's formation including dating, at minimum the church leaders should be delegating trusted p…
I'm a little curious about the interplay between churches not doing enough to help men succeed and the concerns expressed in this podcast - they seem mutually exclusive? If the church not doing enough is at least partly to blame for the woes of men's formation including dating, at minimum the church leaders should be delegating trusted people to mentor younger people on things, which means they've got the job of picking the right people, likely those who agree with them in the areas they are selected for. I'm not sure how you can get away from this kind of challenge, especially in a larger church.
I'd much rather mentorship and advice be natural in the church, but that seems the opposite of the way our culture is built. I cannot get experienced fathers to share advice or even suggest improvements.
Agreed that the lay folks in the church should do more - I've heard pastors asking for that for the last few decades, as generally only up to 20% do any sort of volunteering.
But the contexts in which lay members can provide advice though the church seems to be friendship, unofficial mentorship (which requires somehow becomimg known as wise within the church, often linked to being a church leader), official mentorship through things like youth ministry, or official ministry volunteers. I've mostly been a member of Southern Baptist and adjacent churches, maybe things are different elsewhere.
Smaller churches seem better able to grow friendship and unofficial mentorships, so maybe that is one answer. But it seems that lay members are less and less engaged, because their lives are already full and they live decently far away, so they only minimally have that capacity. Pastors and church leadership need to create ministries that serve needs that connect with the lay members, but that usually implies some kind of vetting or oversight - leading to folks who agree with the pastor in that position (or if they disagree, they've already left).
Our very large church had one ministry that has been very good in this relationship forming - marriage mentorship for premarital couples. It has led to relationships where we can speak into people's lives and also have our lives spoken into. Maybe there is a model here that could be expanded beyond marriage which would provide what seems like much needed structure and give volunteers a sense of adding value.
So, to bring it back to my point, outside of a smaller church, I've not often seen folks able to influence each other, and certainly not in a larger audience setting, even in smaller bible studies. I wish I knew how to improve the advice given without putting the advice giving on pastoral shoulders.
I'm a little curious about the interplay between churches not doing enough to help men succeed and the concerns expressed in this podcast - they seem mutually exclusive? If the church not doing enough is at least partly to blame for the woes of men's formation including dating, at minimum the church leaders should be delegating trusted people to mentor younger people on things, which means they've got the job of picking the right people, likely those who agree with them in the areas they are selected for. I'm not sure how you can get away from this kind of challenge, especially in a larger church.
I'd much rather mentorship and advice be natural in the church, but that seems the opposite of the way our culture is built. I cannot get experienced fathers to share advice or even suggest improvements.
The church != the pastor. I think we need lay Christians stepping up and leading, often separate from the church context per se.
Agreed that the lay folks in the church should do more - I've heard pastors asking for that for the last few decades, as generally only up to 20% do any sort of volunteering.
But the contexts in which lay members can provide advice though the church seems to be friendship, unofficial mentorship (which requires somehow becomimg known as wise within the church, often linked to being a church leader), official mentorship through things like youth ministry, or official ministry volunteers. I've mostly been a member of Southern Baptist and adjacent churches, maybe things are different elsewhere.
Smaller churches seem better able to grow friendship and unofficial mentorships, so maybe that is one answer. But it seems that lay members are less and less engaged, because their lives are already full and they live decently far away, so they only minimally have that capacity. Pastors and church leadership need to create ministries that serve needs that connect with the lay members, but that usually implies some kind of vetting or oversight - leading to folks who agree with the pastor in that position (or if they disagree, they've already left).
Our very large church had one ministry that has been very good in this relationship forming - marriage mentorship for premarital couples. It has led to relationships where we can speak into people's lives and also have our lives spoken into. Maybe there is a model here that could be expanded beyond marriage which would provide what seems like much needed structure and give volunteers a sense of adding value.
So, to bring it back to my point, outside of a smaller church, I've not often seen folks able to influence each other, and certainly not in a larger audience setting, even in smaller bible studies. I wish I knew how to improve the advice given without putting the advice giving on pastoral shoulders.