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Logos.word@protonmail.com's avatar

Helping people, especially men, find a spouse is something the church is completely indifferent to. Maybe they talk about family issues, but mostly they treat their congregants as sexless atomized individuals who need more piety in some general good (gnostic) characteristic. There might be a singles group at a large mega church, but that isn’t much help.

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Septentriones's avatar

I think there's a distinct but related issue of the… ah, let's say, mode of worship, or perhaps just "what activity goes on, in your community, on Sunday".

Some parishes these days place a heavy emphasis on the touchy feely aspects of being friends with each other and God. (Some of these to their credit emphasize Him and His love, others barely seem to remember Him except maybe as a projection of our own desires and emotions.) The extreme examples can be very "horizontal" (as opposed to "vertical" towards the Almighty), very emotional, very social but much more the feminine sort of socialization than masculine activity – the stuff of pop psychology, groups of people coming together to celebrate the way they believe they're empathetic (whether they actually are towards those less touchy feely than themselves, is another question). These ones, anecdotally, don't seem to get a lot of engagement out of men – especially not younger men.

Whereas, say – this example's obviously from the Catholic world, but that's what I can speak to firsthand – parishes where they still chant in Latin and their liturgies place an emphasis on sacrifice and so forth, have a much more balanced sex and age ratio, often being full of young couples and their families, and the men being much more engaged and active in leading said families.

This is the case even though in my experience these parishes seldom address men one way or the other, directly – though they are much more likely to provide instruction in actually living the Faith, both in terms of being willing to tell people the doctrinal teachings and the dos and don'ts (politically incorrect though that is) but also in terms of how to pray, how to grow in virtue, how to exercise charity (the action not just passionate feelings), etc. (Even if not being addressed as men, at least being addressed in terms of actual right and wrong with actual purpose or a concrete mission, seems to be the kind of thing men can get involved with.) Getting meat in terms of Faith advice is certainly part of it, but so is the sense that worship is ritual directed towards God, that "Sunday services" are not just everybody coming together for a spiritually inspired group hug.

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